








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 774 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 581 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4776 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4458 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2763 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3671 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,978,113 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiversen | 49% | 195 |
| #2 | Volltare | 48% | 790 |
| #3 | noXi | 46% | 87 |
| #4 | julius | 45% | 205 |
| #5 | tobseN | 42% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiversen | 49% | 195 |
| #2 | Volltare | 48% | 790 |
| #3 | noXi | 46% | 87 |
| #4 | julius | 45% | 205 |
| #5 | tobseN | 42% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | julius | 47 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Volltare | 42 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | tobseN | 41 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Shiversen | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | noXi | 10 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Volltare | 1684 | 0.10 | 47 min |
| #2 | tobseN | 992 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #3 | Shiversen | 667 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | julius | 595 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #5 | noXi | 124 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shiversen | +3.17 | 63 | 52 |
| #2 | julius | +2.78 | 69 | 51 |
| #3 | tobseN | +1.92 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Volltare | -0.29 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | noXi | -1.62 | 46 | 28 |





