








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,833 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3852 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2556 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2342 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1083 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $804,826 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 457 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ok)))))))))))))))) | 68% | 41 |
| #2 | tobseN | 48% | 196 |
| #3 | Volltare | 47% | 233 |
| #4 | SimZn | 45% | 205 |
| #5 | Shiversen | 45% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | tobseN | 48% | 196 |
| #3 | Volltare | 47% | 233 |
| #4 | SimZn | 45% | 205 |
| #5 | Shiversen | 45% | 150 |
| #6 | Fanatic | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SimZn | 29 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | tobseN | 23 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Volltare | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Shiversen | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ok)))))))))))))))) | 4 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tobseN | 876 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #2 | Volltare | 513 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | Shiversen | 495 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | SimZn | 425 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | ok)))))))))))))))) | 126 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ok)))))))))))))))) | +9.00 | 97 | 52 |
| #2 | julius | +1.81 | 68 | 51 |
| #3 | Shiversen | +1.65 | 63 | 51 |
| #4 | tobseN | +0.48 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | Fanatic | +0.10 | 69 | 62 |





