








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2854 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1710 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1108 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1773 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $701,100 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 493 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | CrispyB | 51% | 37 |
| #10 | Lukki | 51% | 63 |
| #11 | mike oxlong | 50% | 24 |
| #12 | ReqularR | 50% | 42 |
| #13 | ☘︎Munareikä☘ | 46% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lukki | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | ☘︎Munareikä☘ | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | BeaTsy | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | CrispyB | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Pucci | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeaTsy | 184 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lukki | 102 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | ReqularR | 83 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | CrispyB | 74 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | ☘︎Munareikä☘ | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |





