










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 508 | 24% |
| Smokes | 443 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 224 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 971 | 45% |
Our logs show you have wasted $269,660 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lee Chae Young - 이채영 | 11 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Weaponized_COVID-19 | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Hibike! re1na | 5 | 0.0260 |
| #4 | Schnee | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Crissa | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lee Chae Young - 이채영 | 339 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | Weaponized_COVID-19 | 252 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | Crissa | 163 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Schnee | 162 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | ALICIA MELCHIOTT | 112 | 0.17 | 2 min |





