








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1127 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1061 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 384 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 602 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $452,988 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D And Toad Ferdy Some Bo | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | CieL | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | SendPie | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Hibike! re1na | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | 叫んだ | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Weaponized_COVID-19 | 42% | 38 |
| #9 | Shiro | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | ALICIA MELCHIOTT | 33% | 12 |
| #11 | Atheros | 33% | 51 |
| #12 | Lee Chae Young - 이채영 | 32% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lee Chae Young - 이채영 | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Hibike! re1na | 6 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Crissa | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Weaponized_COVID-19 | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Atheros | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crissa | 214 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lee Chae Young - 이채영 | 214 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Weaponized_COVID-19 | 167 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hibike! re1na | 118 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hitam | 79 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crissa | +5.62 | 61 | 58 |
| #2 | Weaponized_COVID-19 | +4.21 | 58 | 56 |
| #3 | Shiro | +3.32 | 55 | 56 |
| #4 | Lee Chae Young - 이채영 | +1.78 | 80 | 69 |
| #5 | D And Toad Ferdy Some Bo | +1.44 | 54 | 67 |





