








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,541 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1291 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1240 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 398 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 612 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,658 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Weaponized_COVID-19 | 33% | 33 |
| #12 | Atheros | 31% | 32 |
| #13 | Hitam | 30% | 10 |
| #14 | Hoon | 29% | 14 |
| #15 | 叫んだ | 19% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crissa | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Lee Chae Young - 이채영 | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Shiro | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Weaponized_COVID-19 | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Hibike! re1na | 5 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crissa | 212 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Lee Chae Young - 이채영 | 211 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Shiro | 170 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | Weaponized_COVID-19 | 163 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hibike! re1na | 156 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hitam | +6.33 | 50 | 60 |
| #2 | Crissa | +3.38 | 66 | 62 |
| #3 | Shiro | +3.32 | 54 | 63 |
| #4 | Lee Chae Young - 이채영 | +3.11 | 83 | 69 |
| #5 | Weaponized_COVID-19 | +2.65 | 53 | 56 |





