








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3601 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2024 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1537 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1569 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $540,596 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BurgerPizzaKebab | 55% | 51 |
| #2 | Ymap D Ceitful | 54% | 104 |
| #3 | Mr Bigglesworth | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Faster | 53% | 175 |
| #5 | ent1x | 51% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mr Bigglesworth | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Faster | 53% | 175 |
| #5 | ent1x | 51% | 68 |
| #6 | Mr MIAOU COH3 | 50% | 20 |
| #7 | C | 50% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faster | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ent1x | 11 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | C | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Ymap D Ceitful | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | BurgerPizzaKebab | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faster | 477 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | C | 171 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ymap D Ceitful | 164 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | ent1x | 151 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mr Bigglesworth | 120 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ent1x | +1.94 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | Mr MIAOU COH3 | +1.93 | 79 | 39 |
| #3 | PayBack | +1.44 | 72 | 59 |
| #4 | Faster | +1.33 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | BurgerPizzaKebab | +0.62 | 72 | 67 |





