








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1265 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1086 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1053 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1062 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $426,169 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PayBack | 51% | 68 |
| #2 | Ymap D Ceitful | 48% | 77 |
| #3 | Faster | 48% | 143 |
| #4 | BurgerPizzaKebab | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | C | 40% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PayBack | 51% | 68 |
| #2 | Ymap D Ceitful | 48% | 77 |
| #3 | Faster | 48% | 143 |
| #4 | BurgerPizzaKebab | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | C | 40% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faster | 20 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Ymap D Ceitful | 12 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | C | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | PayBack | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | BurgerPizzaKebab | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PayBack | 382 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #2 | Faster | 379 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | C | 156 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ymap D Ceitful | 128 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | BurgerPizzaKebab | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ent1x | +1.80 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | PayBack | +0.93 | 71 | 58 |
| #3 | Faster | +0.38 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | BurgerPizzaKebab | -0.12 | 64 | 64 |
| #5 | Ymap D Ceitful | -0.80 | 70 | 57 |





