








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2961 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1991 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3019 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2902 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $766,063 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9Inchs QklyBougn killer Irl | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | Servietsky | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | PayBack | 50% | 70 |
| #4 | Ymap D Ceitful | 49% | 99 |
| #5 | Mr MIAOU COH3 | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mr MIAOU COH3 | 49% | 55 |
| #6 | Faster | 48% | 162 |
| #7 | BurgerPizzaKebab | 45% | 40 |
| #8 | ent1x | 40% | 67 |
| #9 | Mr Bigglesworth | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ymap D Ceitful | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | ent1x | 9 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Faster | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | PayBack | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Mr MIAOU COH3 | 6 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faster | 531 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | PayBack | 426 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #3 | ent1x | 189 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ymap D Ceitful | 133 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | BurgerPizzaKebab | 99 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9Inchs QklyBougn killer Irl | +2.35 | 76 | 53 |
| #2 | Mr MIAOU COH3 | +2.01 | 82 | 52 |
| #3 | PayBack | +1.70 | 69 | 57 |
| #4 | Faster | +1.42 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | ent1x | +1.32 | 71 | 63 |





