








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 624 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5187 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5126 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2699 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4310 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,307,684 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9Inchs QklyBougn killer Irl | 63% | 38 |
| #2 | 'SEEK GIRL TEAM' ClemZ | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Mr Bigglesworth | 58% | 69 |
| #4 | BurgerPizzaKebab | 55% | 113 |
| #5 | PayBack | 53% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ymap D Ceitful | 24 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | C | 18 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | ent1x | 18 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | PayBack | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Mr MIAOU COH3 | 6 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PayBack | 1071 | 0.30 | 21 min |
| #2 | Ymap D Ceitful | 393 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | C | 374 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | ent1x | 365 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Mr Bigglesworth | 329 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'SEEK GIRL TEAM' ClemZ | +4.95 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | 9Inchs QklyBougn killer Irl | +2.29 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Mr MIAOU COH3 | +1.75 | 75 | 45 |
| #4 | ent1x | +1.72 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | Faster | +1.42 | 78 | 63 |





