








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1330 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1113 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1289 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 949 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $563,238 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nΞMq | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | xtimux | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Saunamies80 | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | känni isi | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | Lasa | 59% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Miko | 53% | 62 |
| #7 | minioni | 52% | 62 |
| #8 | niQlund | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | Henkka | 47% | 19 |
| #10 | M249 is best in zombieapocalypse | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miko | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Lasa | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | minioni | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | M249 is best in zombieapocalypse | 3 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | nΞMq | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nΞMq | 146 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lasa | 129 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | minioni | 69 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Miko | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | känni isi | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lasa | +3.28 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Miko | +3.15 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | nΞMq | +2.53 | 75 | 77 |
| #4 | xtimux | +2.14 | 68 | 83 |
| #5 | känni isi | -0.39 | 67 | 64 |





