








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3170 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2854 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3160 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2091 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $987,106 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokkeri | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | nΞMq | 60% | 87 |
| #3 | Felesku | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | lakritsix | 57% | 53 |
| #5 | Miko | 55% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ^Johan August Sandels^ | 53% | 17 |
| #9 | RÖMPSÄ :=D | 52% | 90 |
| #10 | M249 is best in zombieapocalypse | 47% | 49 |
| #11 | minioni | 46% | 166 |
| #12 | Henkka | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minioni | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Lasa | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Jokkeri | 6 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | nΞMq | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Miko | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lasa | 535 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | nΞMq | 260 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | minioni | 226 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | M249 is best in zombieapocalypse | 176 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | RÖMPSÄ :=D | 167 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lasa | +2.77 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | Miko | +2.47 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | nΞMq | +2.00 | 75 | 77 |
| #4 | M249 is best in zombieapocalypse | +1.44 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | Lede | +0.76 | 69 | 56 |





