








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2392 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2431 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2857 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2501 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $701,575 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokkeri | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | känni isi | 60% | 87 |
| #3 | Miko | 56% | 177 |
| #4 | Henkka | 55% | 60 |
| #5 | Lasa | 54% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | minioni | 52% | 170 |
| #7 | RÖMPSÄ :=D | 46% | 41 |
| #8 | XPeecc 🌪 | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | M249 is best in zombieapocalypse | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | Miku | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minioni | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Miko | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Lasa | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | känni isi | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Jokkeri | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lasa | 459 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | minioni | 191 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Miko | 190 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | känni isi | 182 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jokkeri | 92 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miko | +2.96 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | XPeecc 🌪 | +1.94 | 86 | 56 |
| #3 | M249 is best in zombieapocalypse | +1.94 | 88 | 60 |
| #4 | nΞMq | +1.80 | 77 | 74 |
| #5 | Lasa | +1.20 | 75 | 60 |





