








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 398 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4178 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2829 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2284 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3653 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3743 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,373,045 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bezwzględny | 49% | 318 |
| #6 | Darko Lazic | 48% | 167 |
| #7 | Yusuf | 47% | 202 |
| #8 | Sunpajunpus | 45% | 100 |
| #9 | evgenije | 43% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bezwzględny | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Sunpajunpus | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Darko Lazic | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Svirlica | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Yusuf | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evgenije | 826 | 0.38 | 17 min |
| #2 | Bezwzględny | 463 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | Darko Lazic | 205 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Yusuf | 180 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sunpajunpus | 174 | 0.09 | 4 min |





