










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 85 | 15% |
| Smokes | 92 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 184 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 192 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,800 of utility $290 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Traazp | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Junky Johnson | 41% | 29 |
| #3 | Sean Bridon | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | Krico | 40% | 48 |
| #5 | Joe | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Junky Johnson | 41% | 29 |
| #3 | Sean Bridon | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | Krico | 40% | 48 |
| #5 | Joe | 35% | 34 |
| #6 | börsägarn | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krico | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Joe | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | börsägarn | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Sean Bridon | 1 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Junky Johnson | 229 | 0.37 | 6 min |
| #2 | Joe | 123 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Krico | 115 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | börsägarn | 24 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sean Bridon | 11 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe | +4.03 | 65 | 59 |
| #2 | Krico | +1.83 | 81 | 46 |
| #3 | börsägarn | +0.07 | 61 | 40 |
| #4 | Junky Johnson | -0.19 | 40 | 66 |
| #5 | Traazp | -1.64 | 42 | 51 |





