








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 747 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 562 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4054 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4867 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6309 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4342 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,670,090 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1846 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huug Gaming ♿ | 51% | 73 |
| #2 | Dirigent Diederick klaplong | 50% | 74 |
| #3 | DJ bennielekker | 49% | 265 |
| #4 | Hybride | 45% | 93 |
| #5 | Sandersan | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huug Gaming ♿ | 51% | 73 |
| #2 | Dirigent Diederick klaplong | 50% | 74 |
| #3 | DJ bennielekker | 49% | 265 |
| #4 | Hybride | 45% | 93 |
| #5 | Sandersan | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ bennielekker | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Hybride | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Dirigent Diederick klaplong | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Sandersan | 6 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Huug Gaming ♿ | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ bennielekker | 504 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Dirigent Diederick klaplong | 146 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hybride | 141 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Huug Gaming ♿ | 139 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sandersan | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huug Gaming ♿ | +0.91 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | Jaws | +0.83 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | Hybride | +0.40 | 67 | 52 |
| #4 | Dirigent Diederick klaplong | +0.12 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | Sandersan | -0.96 | 68 | 43 |





