








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1390 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1221 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1232 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1300 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $892,855 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ bennielekker | 54% | 90 |
| #2 | Party Vision | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Dirigent Diederick klaplong | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Sandersan | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | Jaws | 51% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sandersan | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | Jaws | 51% | 73 |
| #6 | Hybride | 46% | 101 |
| #7 | René van der Gijp gaming | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | date | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hybride | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | DJ bennielekker | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Jaws | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | date | 10 | 0.0145 |
| #5 | René van der Gijp gaming | 8 | 0.0351 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJ bennielekker | 161 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Hybride | 143 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jaws | 130 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dirigent Diederick klaplong | 72 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sandersan | 65 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaws | +2.28 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | Huug Gaming ♿ | +1.47 | 73 | 55 |
| #3 | Hybride | +0.17 | 71 | 53 |
| #4 | Party Vision | +0.09 | 36 | 47 |
| #5 | Dirigent Diederick klaplong | -0.07 | 63 | 60 |





