








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1377 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1609 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 989 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1584 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $994,250 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sus Shiber* | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | Dr_Nurse | 80% | 35 |
| #3 | toddii | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | Neil De Mask Tyson | 73% | 22 |
| #5 | Wind | 70% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nyanners | 5 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | Dr_Nurse | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Zorrahh | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Sus Shiber* | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | T1ck | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T1ck | 191 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Durtle02 | 106 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zorrahh | 81 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dr_Nurse | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | toddii | 78 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toddii | +2.09 | 92 | 67 |
| #2 | Nyanners | +1.97 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | T1ck | +1.84 | 77 | 52 |
| #4 | _BmS_ | +1.73 | 87 | 59 |
| #5 | Dr_Nurse | +1.70 | 68 | 67 |





