








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 224 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3183 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3561 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1278 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2483 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $972,697 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wind | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | _BmS_ | 73% | 22 |
| #3 | toddii | 73% | 44 |
| #4 | Dr_Nurse | 58% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wind | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | _BmS_ | 73% | 22 |
| #3 | toddii | 73% | 44 |
| #4 | Dr_Nurse | 58% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr_Nurse | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Wind | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | _BmS_ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr_Nurse | 179 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | toddii | 160 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | _BmS_ | 85 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Wind | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toddii | +2.68 | 92 | 61 |
| #2 | _BmS_ | +1.51 | 88 | 74 |
| #3 | Wind | +0.19 | 82 | 55 |
| #4 | Dr_Nurse | +0.08 | 70 | 61 |
| #5 | Neil De Mask Tyson | -0.11 | 81 | 60 |





