








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,207 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 287 | 13% |
| Smokes | 460 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 845 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 615 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,659 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z!NG | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Duzz | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Finnegan | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | DysexlicStoner240 | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Tommy Wiseau | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zibzz | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | risen | 38% | 8 |
| #10 | E-Grill | 29% | 7 |
| #11 | Owly | 17% | 6 |
| #12 | Yakob | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finnegan | 6 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Tommy Wiseau | 4 | 0.0214 |
| #3 | Yakob | 4 | 0.0339 |
| #4 | Duzz | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Owly | 2 | 0.0150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Finnegan | 81 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Duzz | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Zibzz | 32 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #4 | Yakob | 27 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | risen | 24 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | risen | +5.29 | 83 | 70 |
| #2 | Duzz | +1.72 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | Tommy Wiseau | +1.49 | 82 | 28 |
| #4 | E-Grill | +1.17 | 91 | 50 |
| #5 | Z!NG | +1.08 | 93 | 70 |





