








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 572 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 137 matches | ||
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2639 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2182 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3325 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3496 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,371,610 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hello | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | mariNus | 51% | 59 |
| #3 | .lucas S<3 | 47% | 53 |
| #4 | jawa 糧 | 44% | 86 |
| #5 | R͢͢͢๏tչloeffel | 42% | 425 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R͢͢͢๏tչloeffel | 21 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Hello | 13 | 0.0209 |
| #3 | mariNus | 10 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | .lucas S<3 | 10 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | Papst Franziskus | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R͢͢͢๏tչloeffel | 1843 | 0.21 | 36 min |
| #2 | jawa 糧 | 528 | 0.29 | 16 min |
| #3 | Papst Franziskus | 398 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | mariNus | 310 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #5 | .lucas S<3 | 287 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .lucas S<3 | +3.83 | 90 | 70 |
| #2 | jawa 糧 | +3.74 | 89 | 80 |
| #3 | Hello | +1.73 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | mariNus | +1.56 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | R͢͢͢๏tչloeffel | +0.75 | 71 | 65 |





