








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4095 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3933 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3408 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3375 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3434 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,345,191 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 673 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wolsok | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Hello | 53% | 100 |
| #3 | kazjo | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | cranKyy | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | ChubaChupz | 51% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jawa 糧 | 1108 | 0.27 | 31 min |
| #2 | R͢͢͢๏tչloeffel | 1076 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #3 | rezuni | 406 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | cranKyy | 335 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #5 | Hello | 312 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .lucas S<3 | +2.83 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | wolsok | +2.70 | 84 | 60 |
| #3 | jawa 糧 | +2.54 | 89 | 78 |
| #4 | Skorpion ツ | +1.79 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | cranKyy | +1.66 | 87 | 75 |





