








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 245 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5697 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4999 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4939 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4243 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $858,739 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 783 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | avi pew pew | 63% | 52 |
| #2 | LortenGert | 60% | 60 |
| #3 | JackTheJudas | 60% | 230 |
| #4 | Fnuggii | 59% | 54 |
| #5 | SpritOrglet | 59% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S0mmer.- | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Skodskywalker | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | SpritOrglet | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | JackTheJudas | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | avi pew pew | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skodskywalker | 545 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | JackTheJudas | 392 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | SpritOrglet | 290 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | S0mmer.- | 166 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | LortenGert | 94 | 0.07 | 2 min |





