








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1735 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1603 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3026 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2044 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,624 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SpritOrglet | 56% | 45 |
| #9 | p34k | 53% | 68 |
| #10 | S0mmer.- | 53% | 19 |
| #11 | mKm | 53% | 38 |
| #12 | pixelmeisteR^^ | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | avi pew pew | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Skodskywalker | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | p34k | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | JackTheJudas | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skodskywalker | 440 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | JackTheJudas | 325 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | p34k | 275 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | LortenGert | 241 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Sn0wThePRO | 185 | 0.15 | 5 min |





