








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 622 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 421 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3961 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5113 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3077 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3644 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,938,496 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 496 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sn0wThePRO | 59% | 240 |
| #2 | SpritOrglet | 58% | 210 |
| #3 | JackTheJudas | 57% | 418 |
| #4 | S0mmer.- | 56% | 174 |
| #5 | LortenGert | 56% | 222 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | avi pew pew | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Sn0wThePRO | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | JackTheJudas | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | SpritOrglet | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | S0mmer.- | 3 | 0.0008 |





