








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 954 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 780 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5017 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7625 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4216 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 7727 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,281,131 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 633 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 321 | 55% | 80 |
| #2 | Pimpuś | 54% | 95 |
| #3 | spermstein | 53% | 302 |
| #4 | toxic yaśó | 53% | 177 |
| #5 | Fanforek | 52% | 429 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fanforek | 52% | 429 |
| #6 | SK | 51% | 457 |
| #7 | MiniCocksick | 51% | 185 |
| #8 | Golem JD | 51% | 134 |
| #9 | Urban_6 | 48% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spermstein | 31 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | SK | 22 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Fanforek | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | MiniCocksick | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Urban_6 | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SK | 1955 | 0.19 | 51 min |
| #2 | Fanforek | 986 | 0.10 | 26 min |
| #3 | spermstein | 796 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | MiniCocksick | 595 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #5 | Golem JD | 467 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fanforek | +3.02 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | Pimpuś | +1.78 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | 321 | +1.45 | 85 | 53 |
| #4 | SK | +0.67 | 70 | 70 |
| #5 | 0vs3ジ | -0.27 | 63 | 57 |





