








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 679 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 322 matches | ||
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3883 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4802 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5020 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4112 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,257,257 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiniCocksick | 52% | 46 |
| #2 | spermstein | 50% | 280 |
| #3 | SK | 49% | 434 |
| #4 | Fanforek | 49% | 209 |
| #5 | 321 | 48% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SK | 2031 | 0.21 | 50 min |
| #2 | spermstein | 733 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | Fanforek | 481 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | 0vs3ジ | 459 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | 321 | 396 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fanforek | +2.59 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | 321 | +2.14 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | SK | +0.72 | 72 | 71 |
| #4 | Urban_6 | -0.62 | 77 | 46 |
| #5 | spermstein | -0.62 | 64 | 59 |





