








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 588 matches | ||
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6502 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5596 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6454 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5834 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,679,238 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 354 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pimpuś | 55% | 150 |
| #2 | spermstein | 53% | 478 |
| #3 | SK | 53% | 448 |
| #4 | MiniCocksick | 53% | 375 |
| #5 | toxic yaśó | 53% | 290 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | toxic yaśó | 53% | 290 |
| #6 | 0vs3ジ | 52% | 429 |
| #7 | Golem JD | 52% | 307 |
| #8 | 321 | 51% | 104 |
| #9 | Urban_6 | 49% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spermstein | 53 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | SK | 25 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | MiniCocksick | 20 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Urban_6 | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | 321 | 11 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SK | 2266 | 0.23 | 58 min |
| #2 | spermstein | 1363 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #3 | MiniCocksick | 1167 | 0.14 | 29 min |
| #4 | Golem JD | 1083 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #5 | 0vs3ジ | 882 | 0.09 | 22 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fanforek | +3.24 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | Pimpuś | +2.02 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | 321 | +1.69 | 82 | 53 |
| #4 | SK | +0.68 | 71 | 71 |
| #5 | toxic yaśó | -0.11 | 65 | 45 |





