








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 629 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1270 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1624 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 536 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,034,454 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KJ to Flush | 49% | 82 |
| #2 | Mike Ompote | 48% | 71 |
| #3 | Mike Lown | 44% | 138 |
| #4 | Mike O'kayne | 44% | 75 |
| #5 | Mike U-de-sac | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Lown | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | KJ to Flush | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Mike O'Cktail | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Mike U-de-sac | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Mike Ompote | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Lown | +2.84 | 36 | 59 |
| #2 | KJ to Flush | +1.98 | 52 | 31 |
| #3 | ZINZIN_DANI | +0.34 | 28 | 36 |
| #4 | Mike O'kayne | -0.37 | 36 | 19 |
| #5 | Mike Uck | -0.59 | 14 | 32 |





