








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2185 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1843 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 848 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 872 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $540,938 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Ompote | 53% | 113 |
| #2 | KJ to Flush | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | Mike O'kayne | 47% | 73 |
| #4 | Mike O'Cktail | 44% | 72 |
| #5 | Mike Uck | 44% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Uck | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Mike O'Cktail | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Mike U-de-sac | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Mike Ompote | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Mike O'kayne | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Lown | +2.86 | 37 | 59 |
| #2 | KJ to Flush | +0.74 | 42 | 32 |
| #3 | ZINZIN_DANI | -0.27 | 37 | 43 |
| #4 | Mike Uck | -0.41 | 14 | 33 |
| #5 | Mike Ompote | -0.59 | 31 | 41 |





