








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,230 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 84 | 7% |
| Smokes | 393 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 395 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 358 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $299,046 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mike O'Cktail | 46% | 95 |
| #5 | KJ to Flush | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | Mike Uck | 44% | 75 |
| #7 | Mike U-de-sac | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | ZINZIN_DANI | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Lown | +3.86 | 37 | 61 |
| #2 | KJ to Flush | +0.35 | 49 | 24 |
| #3 | Mike O'kayne | -0.21 | 34 | 20 |
| #4 | Mike U-de-sac | -0.26 | 41 | 18 |
| #5 | Mike Uck | -0.71 | 15 | 34 |





