








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 43 | 3% |
| Smokes | 194 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 468 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 593 | 46% |
Our logs show you have wasted $81,388 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Ompote | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Mike Lown | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Mike Uck | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Mike O'kayne | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike Lown | +3.54 | 36 | 64 |
| #2 | Mike Uck | -0.54 | 9 | 32 |
| #3 | Mike U-de-sac | -0.96 | 44 | 24 |
| #4 | Mike O'kayne | -1.24 | 32 | 23 |
| #5 | Mike O'Cktail | -1.58 | 34 | 51 |





