








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4198 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3453 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3219 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3454 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $925,716 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <Yami | 79% | 78 |
| #2 | hack = retard | 68% | 243 |
| #3 | SHELDON LEE COOPER | 67% | 103 |
| #4 | x140 | 67% | 42 |
| #5 | KANG | 64% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hack = retard | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | game is cooked | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | KANG | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | SHELDON LEE COOPER | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | MrPiggyy.小猪先生. | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hack = retard | 1176 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #2 | game is cooked | 547 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | KANG | 539 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | <Yami | 396 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #5 | Los Santos Customs | 245 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHELDON LEE COOPER | +2.86 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | geve | +2.22 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | KANG | +1.41 | 63 | 73 |
| #4 | game is cooked | +1.20 | 70 | 70 |
| #5 | <Yami | +0.70 | 65 | 80 |





