








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12505 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9808 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 10671 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 8165 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,438,430 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geve | 64% | 241 |
| #2 | <Yami | 62% | 47 |
| #3 | ✪ Healer | 61% | 95 |
| #4 | yoyo506 | 60% | 73 |
| #5 | hack = retard | 60% | 301 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hack = retard | 20 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | game is cooked | 16 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | geve | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ✪ Healer | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | MrPiggyy.小猪先生. | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hack = retard | 1371 | 0.23 | 32 min |
| #2 | geve | 710 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | game is cooked | 562 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #4 | MrPiggyy.小猪先生. | 317 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | yoyo506 | 232 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geve | +2.28 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | ✪ Healer | +2.02 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | KANG | +1.99 | 64 | 71 |
| #4 | MrPiggyy.小猪先生. | +1.52 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | SHELDON LEE COOPER | +1.07 | 78 | 60 |





