








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 402 | 21% |
| Smokes | 519 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 491 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 502 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $61,605 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slip | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | flank watching isn't baiting btw | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | Troppie | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | s³secret | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Assaulted Caramel Girl | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | s³secret | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Assaulted Caramel Girl | 60% | 10 |
| #6 | Boss | 60% | 10 |
| #7 | Salix | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | grumpyberito5 | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flank watching isn't baiting btw | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | slip | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flank watching isn't baiting btw | 91 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Troppie | 67 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Salix | 41 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | grumpyberito5 | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | slip | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gu0 | +3.07 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | s³secret | +2.01 | 91 | 60 |
| #3 | flank watching isn't baiting btw | +1.27 | 54 | 57 |
| #4 | slip | +1.24 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | Salix | -0.27 | 28 | 56 |





