








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1362 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1287 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1301 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1545 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $268,228 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jiNX | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | jizz | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | MiNDFiELDS | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Magnum | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Methodman | 56% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Magnum | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Methodman | 56% | 96 |
| #6 | Noodlez | 55% | 22 |
| #7 | cocainechr1s ツ | 50% | 32 |
| #8 | ★ crackSTAR | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Methodman | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | cocainechr1s ツ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Methodman | 414 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | jizz | 255 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #3 | cocainechr1s ツ | 100 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | MiNDFiELDS | 78 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | jiNX | 65 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jizz | +1.91 | 79 | 79 |
| #2 | aniilo | +1.17 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | MiNDFiELDS | +0.62 | 83 | 70 |
| #4 | Methodman | +0.48 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | jiNX | +0.23 | 71 | 79 |





