








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1026 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 364 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6812 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7481 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5600 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6505 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,439,466 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jizz | 61% | 69 |
| #2 | whitey :) | 60% | 113 |
| #3 | ✪ Salak Sikerim | 57% | 83 |
| #4 | ^thor | 55% | 67 |
| #5 | rtfm | 55% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ^thor | 55% | 67 |
| #5 | rtfm | 55% | 66 |
| #6 | MiNDFiELDS | 52% | 139 |
| #7 | jiNX | 50% | 336 |
| #8 | Noodlez | 44% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whitey :) | 12 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | jiNX | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ✪ Salak Sikerim | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | MiNDFiELDS | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | rtfm | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jiNX | 1270 | 0.18 | 40 min |
| #2 | whitey :) | 410 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Noodlez | 384 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | MiNDFiELDS | 380 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | ✪ Salak Sikerim | 323 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiNDFiELDS | +1.59 | 86 | 70 |
| #2 | whitey :) | +1.50 | 73 | 81 |
| #3 | jizz | +1.23 | 72 | 78 |
| #4 | jiNX | +1.04 | 69 | 79 |
| #5 | ✪ Salak Sikerim | +0.25 | 75 | 65 |





