








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3822 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4087 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3705 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3025 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1494 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $819,327 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Methodman | 52% | 23 |
| #10 | cocainechr1s ツ | 52% | 139 |
| #11 | jiNX | 47% | 114 |
| #12 | Noodlez | 43% | 115 |
| #13 | ★ crackSTAR | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rtfm | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | cocainechr1s ツ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | jizz | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ✪ Salak Sikerim | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | whitey :) | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cocainechr1s ツ | 478 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | jiNX | 446 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | rtfm | 410 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Noodlez | 295 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | jizz | 286 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiNDFiELDS | +2.42 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | jizz | +1.92 | 72 | 80 |
| #3 | jiNX | +1.38 | 73 | 78 |
| #4 | cocainechr1s ツ | +0.42 | 81 | 73 |
| #5 | aniilo | +0.30 | 77 | 66 |





