








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3075 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3466 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2835 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3482 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,560 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cocainechr1s ツ | 44% | 154 |
| #6 | MiNDFiELDS | 43% | 115 |
| #7 | ✪ Salak Sikerim | 43% | 40 |
| #8 | jiNX | 42% | 101 |
| #9 | rtfm | 41% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rtfm | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | cocainechr1s ツ | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | MiNDFiELDS | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | jiNX | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ✪ Salak Sikerim | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cocainechr1s ツ | 587 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | jiNX | 441 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #3 | MiNDFiELDS | 298 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | rtfm | 180 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | jizz | 148 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiNDFiELDS | +1.74 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | jiNX | +1.22 | 68 | 80 |
| #3 | jizz | +1.19 | 74 | 79 |
| #4 | cocainechr1s ツ | +0.63 | 84 | 72 |
| #5 | whitey :) | +0.29 | 69 | 75 |





