








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1792 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2581 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1894 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2187 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $871,540 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eveN. | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | ParanoW ✪ | 67% | 129 |
| #3 | Marco Pyright | 66% | 44 |
| #4 | rAYY | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | Shockwave | 65% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ?RespectAllFearNone | 61% | 23 |
| #7 | LeXo | 60% | 25 |
| #8 | CVjunior | 55% | 22 |
| #9 | altra | 50% | 18 |
| #10 | MA | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ParanoW ✪ | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Marco Pyright | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | rAYY | 5 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | MA | 4 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | LeXo | 3 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ParanoW ✪ | 333 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Shockwave | 117 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | ?RespectAllFearNone | 92 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | MA | 80 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | altra | 54 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JïzzusCry | +4.87 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | eveN. | +3.68 | 93 | 62 |
| #3 | ?RespectAllFearNone | +1.84 | 88 | 67 |
| #4 | ParanoW ✪ | +1.83 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | rAYY | +1.62 | 86 | 70 |





