








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 132 | 12% |
| Smokes | 207 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 501 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 233 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $268,323 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ParanoW ✪ | 178 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Shockwave | 69 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | JïzzusCry | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Khorne | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Miou | 21 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khorne | +8.52 | 93 | 61 |
| #2 | JïzzusCry | +4.64 | 92 | 59 |
| #3 | ParanoW ✪ | +2.90 | 83 | 68 |
| #4 | Le Technicien | +1.67 | 93 | 31 |
| #5 | Shockwave | +0.86 | 87 | 42 |





