








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5568 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7136 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4502 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4957 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,889,131 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 512 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Utopia | 53% | 40 |
| #9 | Boofus | 50% | 247 |
| #10 | silence | 48% | 40 |
| #11 | Mantis | 43% | 44 |
| #12 | Yesh | 41% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trent | 763 | 0.32 | 21 min |
| #2 | Boofus | 589 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #3 | NI3ht | 475 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #4 | Miller | 317 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Meglio | 276 | 0.05 | 7 min |





