








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 640 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9637 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8605 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8137 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7494 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $324,083 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1969 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruUzie | 71% | 97 |
| #2 | Crispy B@con | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | Jordan | 61% | 235 |
| #4 | PhantomZA™ | 57% | 283 |
| #5 | Florence | 54% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PhantomZA™ | 57% | 283 |
| #5 | Florence | 54% | 210 |
| #6 | Lizzard | 50% | 40 |
| #7 | sub_zero_za | 49% | 35 |
| #8 | Vactes | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Florence | 21 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Jordan | 19 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | BruUzie | 18 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | PhantomZA™ | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Vactes | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Florence | 634 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | Jordan | 407 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | BruUzie | 301 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | PhantomZA™ | 214 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | sub_zero_za | 117 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruUzie | +6.34 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | Jordan | +2.53 | 73 | 30 |
| #3 | Vactes | +1.49 | 70 | 9 |
| #4 | Florence | +0.94 | 36 | 56 |
| #5 | Crispy B@con | +0.81 | 38 | 60 |





