








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,945 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 956 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2365 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2276 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1348 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $515,325 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruUzie | 70% | 67 |
| #2 | Jordan | 57% | 110 |
| #3 | Sappi Plays Games | 57% | 283 |
| #4 | Florence | 54% | 138 |
| #5 | sub_zero_za | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruUzie | 70% | 67 |
| #2 | Jordan | 57% | 110 |
| #3 | Sappi Plays Games | 57% | 283 |
| #4 | Florence | 54% | 138 |
| #5 | sub_zero_za | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sappi Plays Games | 19 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | BruUzie | 15 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Florence | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Jordan | 9 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sappi Plays Games | 1485 | 0.27 | 34 min |
| #2 | Florence | 428 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | BruUzie | 216 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Jordan | 163 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | sub_zero_za | 60 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruUzie | +5.75 | 66 | 62 |
| #2 | Jordan | +1.74 | 71 | 29 |
| #3 | Sappi Plays Games | +1.18 | 32 | 65 |
| #4 | Florence | +1.14 | 37 | 55 |
| #5 | PhantomZA™ | +0.24 | 30 | 43 |





