








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3268 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3192 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1726 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2935 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,337 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 360 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruUzie | 67% | 67 |
| #2 | Jordan | 55% | 166 |
| #3 | Sappi Plays Games | 54% | 210 |
| #4 | PhantomZA™ | 54% | 138 |
| #5 | Vactes | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jordan | 55% | 166 |
| #3 | Sappi Plays Games | 54% | 210 |
| #4 | PhantomZA™ | 54% | 138 |
| #5 | Vactes | 53% | 30 |
| #6 | SketchyXD | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sappi Plays Games | 20 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Jordan | 15 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | BruUzie | 14 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | PhantomZA™ | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Vactes | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sappi Plays Games | 1281 | 0.31 | 29 min |
| #2 | Jordan | 346 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | BruUzie | 192 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | PhantomZA™ | 113 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | SketchyXD | 29 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruUzie | +5.95 | 64 | 64 |
| #2 | Jordan | +2.23 | 74 | 34 |
| #3 | Vactes | +1.08 | 69 | 8 |
| #4 | SketchyXD | +0.68 | 80 | 42 |
| #5 | Florence | +0.56 | 35 | 56 |





