








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 331 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1768 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2363 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1966 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1002 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,210,850 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | klein scusi | 52% | 67 |
| #2 | blyat | 47% | 64 |
| #3 | Dog | 46% | 52 |
| #4 | Mr-_-PiT #palestineforever | 46% | 68 |
| #5 | Girr | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cat | 55 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | The Pneumothorax Crooner | 15 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | blyat | 14 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | Dog | 11 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | The Essence | 7 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cat | 500 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | Girr | 164 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | The Essence | 161 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | The Pneumothorax Crooner | 133 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | blyat | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Essence | +1.14 | 76 | 50 |
| #2 | Dog | +1.08 | 59 | 40 |
| #3 | Girr | +1.04 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | jdawg | +1.00 | 82 | 41 |
| #5 | Cat | +0.19 | 56 | 44 |





