








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 969 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1892 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2007 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2793 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2725 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,122 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | wiwiwi | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | doG | 55% | 186 |
| #4 | ling | 52% | 60 |
| #5 | Pelle | 51% | 134 |
| #6 | Jacke | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doG | 44 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | ling | 14 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | Jacke | 7 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | wiwiwi | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Pelle | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doG | 438 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | ling | 241 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jacke | 130 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pelle | 101 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | wiwiwi | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |





