








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1240 | 29% |
| Smokes | 354 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 1432 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1253 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,573 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | wiwiwi | 56% | 101 |
| #7 | doG | 56% | 269 |
| #8 | Polar | 55% | 60 |
| #9 | Jacke | 52% | 64 |
| #10 | gnex ツ | 51% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doG | 84 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | 9/11 Was T Sided | 41 | 0.0711 |
| #3 | TheLennyy | 20 | 0.0337 |
| #4 | gnex ツ | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | wiwiwi | 11 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doG | 661 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | gnex ツ | 334 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Jacke | 205 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Proxy♞ | 182 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Polar | 158 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9/11 Was T Sided | +8.17 | 99 | 55 |
| #2 | Jacke | +1.93 | 85 | 53 |
| #3 | doG | +1.88 | 86 | 57 |
| #4 | gnex ツ | +1.63 | 92 | 62 |
| #5 | TheLennyy | +1.15 | 94 | 49 |





