








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 472 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 124 | 26% |
| Smokes | 102 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 162 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 84 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $19,287 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roku nyann | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | gabe | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | mika | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | . | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | 4444 LEGALIZE PEEING IN THE SINK | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 50% | 12 |
| #11 | slipi_playMCwithme | 43% | 46 |
| #12 | Rudnoc | 33% | 6 |
| #13 | Kitten | 20% | 5 |
| #14 | Amber | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4444 LEGALIZE PEEING IN THE SINK | 5 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | slipi_playMCwithme | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Buppypoy | 1 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | gabe | 1 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 87 | 0.38 | 1 min |
| #2 | 4444 LEGALIZE PEEING IN THE SINK | 60 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | slipi_playMCwithme | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | gabe | 31 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #5 | . | 13 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rapier | +11.43 | 62 | 59 |
| #2 | . | +8.47 | 76 | 74 |
| #3 | roku nyann | +5.03 | 79 | 9 |
| #4 | gabe | +4.20 | 85 | 30 |
| #5 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | +3.21 | 58 | 51 |





