








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 2,232 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3162 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2631 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2435 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2361 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $400,563 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smoggy Toast | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | AndersDrogba | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | polz | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Acozin☃ (个_个) | 61% | 59 |
| #5 | Extnat ⛟ | 61% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Kenned | 50% | 22 |
| #11 | Kjerne | 49% | 59 |
| #12 | Snej | 48% | 31 |
| #13 | kaser | 43% | 14 |
| #14 | koppeN ✝ | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zitaogr | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Acozin☃ (个_个) | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Snej | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | AndersDrogba | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Smoggy Toast | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zitaogr | 345 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | AndersDrogba | 108 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Acozin☃ (个_个) | 103 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lurpak | 99 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kjerne | 92 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ►Jever◄ | +2.70 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | AndersDrogba | +1.17 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | polz | +0.55 | 74 | 53 |
| #4 | Luckysh♿t | +0.41 | 63 | 69 |
| #5 | koppeN ✝ | +0.09 | 85 | 63 |





